It is officially Autumn-- leaves falling, snow falling, and chilliness filling the air! Fall is my favorite season because i like wearing long sleeves and sweatpants (my weakness!) and I enjoy getting to cuddle with blankets and the smells of fire places!
Another thing that happens as a result of the change in seasons is the upbringing of holidays! For some this is a major plus, for some it spikes great fear, anxiety, and bad memories, which is completely understandable for those struggling with an eating disorder of any kind.
There are three main components to celebrating holidays that may trigger anxiety and ED behaviors for many: Social & Noise, Food & Mealtime. Let's look at how to cope with these 2 major points!!
SOCIAL & NOISE: For a lot of ED recover-ees, it is really difficult to engage in casual conversation and maintain an upbeat attitude during it. Also, due to the amount of people celebrating all together in one facility/home, the noise level may also trigger anxiety because it feels so overwhelming. You feel out of place and awkward thinking, "I'm so different from all these happy people and no one even knows what I'm really going through..." (etc). Let's change these views and cope healthier!!
Another thing that happens as a result of the change in seasons is the upbringing of holidays! For some this is a major plus, for some it spikes great fear, anxiety, and bad memories, which is completely understandable for those struggling with an eating disorder of any kind.
There are three main components to celebrating holidays that may trigger anxiety and ED behaviors for many: Social & Noise, Food & Mealtime. Let's look at how to cope with these 2 major points!!
SOCIAL & NOISE: For a lot of ED recover-ees, it is really difficult to engage in casual conversation and maintain an upbeat attitude during it. Also, due to the amount of people celebrating all together in one facility/home, the noise level may also trigger anxiety because it feels so overwhelming. You feel out of place and awkward thinking, "I'm so different from all these happy people and no one even knows what I'm really going through..." (etc). Let's change these views and cope healthier!!
SOCIAL & NOISE ADVICE:
Before the party/gathering, brainstorm a list of casual party starters so conversation can flow more easily.
if conversation about diet, weight loss, or exercise begins, remove yourself politely from the conversation and take a step to another room or pretend you have a phone call (works every time, trust me!!)
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed due to the noise and all the activity around you, step into a quiet area of the home or go to a parent/brother/sister/relative you like and trust and sit with them. Another idea is find a pet; a dog, fish tank, or cat; that you can cuddle with. Animals are very therapeutic and help take away stress. :)
When engaging in conversation, it's okay to laugh, ask questions, and not agree with others' opinions about a topic! Lower your guard and make new friends when the opportunity presents itself. Remember that you do not need to talk to anyone you feel uncomfortable talking to! You are strong and assertive!!
If someone asks you about your eating disorder or comment on your weight, you are not obligated to be open with them. In fact, that question is very inappropriate and disrespectful. Medical conditions and illnesses are not an appropriate party conversation, especially if you don't even know the relative well. If you are uncomfortable with answering them, you can just reply by saying, "I prefer to not discuss those things here, it is private. Thanks." I was at a restaurant with my dad and step mom and she said, "so when you were in the hospital did you look like, really sickly thin?" I replied by politely and matter-of-factually saying, "I actually don't remember on account of the fact that my heart rate was below 30 and I could barely process the activity going on around me." That shut her up greatly :).
If someone asks you about your eating disorder or comment on your weight, you are not obligated to be open with them. In fact, that question is very inappropriate and disrespectful. Medical conditions and illnesses are not an appropriate party conversation, especially if you don't even know the relative well. If you are uncomfortable with answering them, you can just reply by saying, "I prefer to not discuss those things here, it is private. Thanks." I was at a restaurant with my dad and step mom and she said, "so when you were in the hospital did you look like, really sickly thin?" I replied by politely and matter-of-factually saying, "I actually don't remember on account of the fact that my heart rate was below 30 and I could barely process the activity going on around me." That shut her up greatly :).
FOOD & MEALTIME WITH OTHERS: Okay guys-- now here come the big macho portion of the root of our anxiety around the holidays: the food. I found it really hard to cope during the holidays because of the way food was distributed: there were no pre-sized portioned piles of mashed sweet potatoes and definitely not a nutrition facts label pasted on the back of the back of the roasted Brussels sprouts. It was uncomfortable to be around so many different foods at once because I was used to hospital food and pre-plated food. I never served myself during recovery because I knew I couldn't trust myself with eating the right amount at each meal for weight gain. All in all, I swear that the holidays for me were and still can be like an episode of Fear Factor at times. If you have never watched this show it is basically people doing scary and ridiculous things to see how far they can go to overcoming fears. Holy s*it-- we all can relate to this, especially those in anorexia recovery-- the ridiculous things we "have to do" (eat 1 cookie or a brownie or a bag of chips & some guacamole) are actually not as ridiculous and scary as we think they are. Our concepts of bad and good are skewed. And we have to regain reality back-- the holidays is perfect for this! :)
ADVICE FOR FOOD & MEALTIME WITH FAMILY/FRIENDS:
If you feel are early in recovery and are not used to palte-ing your own food, either:
A. Ask your caretaker who is helping you eat at home (mom,dad,grandparent,guardian,brother or sister,etc) to plate your food for you-- (it's okay! trust them :) )
B. Plate the food yourself. This can be scary, for everyone struggling with and eating disorder. If you find yourself stuck and frozen in fear or choosing the wrong foods for your meal, observe what others are eating.
Comparing portion sizes and food choices to your friends/relatives WILL COME UP. You have the choice to let the ED voice affect you! Stay strong-- you deserve to enjoy the holidays!
Second helpings are OK during almost all ANOREXIA RECOVERY treatment plans!-- Just remember to always listen to your fullness signs. If you are still hungry after your minimum requirement of food intake (for anorexia) it is okay to take a second helping. It doesn't matter if your second serving is a grain/carbohydrate, a veggie, or a fruit. If you are still hungry, you should enjoy something you enjoyed. Don't make yourself eat the spinach just because you think it has the lowest caloric content-- get a second cornbread muffin because you actually enjoyed it!
**** BED, EDNOS, bulimia, and anorexia are all very hard to deal with because everyone fears bingeing. Bingeing occurs when you can't stop eating and food takes control of you. You are hiding in the food, not really enjoying it but eating so much of anything you can find until you feel so uncomfortably full it is painful for you. If you see a food you have recently binged on, avoid it. If you feel like you cannot stop eating something, please seek help. The tip above is mainly directed for anorexia patients-- if you have BED, bulimia, or EDNOS please discuss plans for holiday gatherings with your therapist, parent/guardian/treatment team. ****
To a lot of family gatherings during my recovery I brought my own food from home to enjoy with everyone else. Because of my vegan & gluten free diet (will be discussed in a later post!) it is hard to enjoy the food that mainstream people enjoy during the holidays and at parties. If you also have allergies and logical food restrictions (don't become gluten free just because you are afraid of wheat, etc!) then ask your caregiver/parent to make your meal before you go and pack it up via plastic containers!!
*** This is also helpful for BED & bulimia-- pack your pre-portioned meal ahead of time and enjoy it with everyone-- just put the food our on a regular plate to make it look less awkward!!. ***
Release yourself from food rituals! Try to overcome the OCD present with your food anxiety!
Mealtime changes are OKAY! It's okay to eat later or earlier than usual-- flexibility is lovely, trust me!
Holidays are meant to be a celebration, not something to fear!! Anxiety is normal. We all have it, whether it's ED related or not. Set aside your anxiety and enjoy yourself. Holidays are a practice that teach ourselves to enjoy life -- not just on issued holidays, but all the time :) <3 !!
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